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Practicing Emotional Intelligence

Practicing Emotional Intelligence

research and draft compiled by Rowena Enojo

article written by Wayne Brown

The origins of Emotional Intelligence…

The idea of emotional intelligence started back in the early 1990s and focused on the thoughts, emotions, and abilities of individuals. The same going forward for nearly three decades; some details remain intact and unclear. This idea of emotional intelligence has been considered as part of many professions which include among others the industry in management, business as well as education, and medical practices.

In this busy life, we lead, wherein people are always rushing on things such as deadlines and meetings and other demands, most if not all of us forgot to connect with our emotions. In this regard, we often fail to interact with the most important things in life – family, friends, colleagues, community, etc. We react subconsciously or unconsciously with things around us. Those things which may affect our current emotional state without our minds being truly present.

When we pay attention to our emotions, then we conclude that we can trust our emotions, without the need to manage and adapt the same. Take time to read or study how to increase emotional intelligence and then, later on, practice the same. When we learn how to manage emotional intelligence we can practice self-awareness and self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

The aim and objectives of this article…

Is to understand the concept of emotional intelligence and enable us to practice the same, through knowing and understanding the terms and possible implications. Emotional intelligence offers the ability for a person to manage their emotion. This concept had been integrated with other disciplines to promote better well-being while impacting and benefiting other people.

The mere concept of emotional intelligence is already a confusion. However, once that confusion has cleared, the industry can make use of it for better decisions, better management, and higher quality output. This in turn can result in improved business and professionalism due to the emotional intelligence in cognition.

Emotional intelligence is a provocative, but broadly discussed substitute to the original Intelligence Quotient. EQ basically reflects our ability to perceive our own emotions and the emotions of other people. It can be taken into account from one’s personal life experience as well as the influence on and relationships with other people. The competence of an individual with respect to comprehension and judgment depends on emotional intelligence, emotional quotient, and emotional leadership.

In psychology there are diverse types of intelligence that are recognized just like emotional intelligence. Some of the other types of intelligence are cultural intelligence, social intelligence, and multiple intelligence. In the early 1990s, Peter Salovey and John Mayer hypothesized emotional intelligence which they defined as the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use the information to guide one’s thinking and action. (J.D. Mayer, P. Salovey).

The intelligence of emotional intelligence, 17 (4) (1993), pp. 433-442). Other popular researchers are Reuven Bar-on and Daniel Goleman who also recognize that emotional intelligence is one’s own emotion that can impact another. It can also be categorized as a cognitive ability or a personality trait. (N. MomeniThe relation between managers emotional intelligence and the organizational climate they create Publ Person Manag, 38 (2) (2009), pp. 35-49 https://doi.org/10.1007/s00221-011-2817-6)

Further, emotional intelligence is possessed identically by different individuals which can be enhanced through the years – a combination of abilities and personal traits. In the end, it was described as a heterogeneous mix of traits that can be widely used in monitoring one’s own traits and personality towards others.

Using emotional intelligence is an attempt to differentiate emotion from intelligence and have considerations about their relationship. With this, it also allows the management to connect to the employees, allowing a chance for camaraderie among individuals – knowing how to manage emotional intelligence can allow a well-balanced lifestyle.

Research integration of many…

A total of 18 articles from different disciples are integrated in this analysis. The common aspects of them are that emotional intelligence addresses self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and social or relationship management. These four aspects were derived from the model of Daniel Goleman. With these aspects, we can facilitate the emotional well-being of every person and enhance the practice of professionalism of an individual.

Moreover, we can understand the functioning of emotional intelligence on one’s self. The common aspects of emotional intelligence can be further categorized and group into different aspects such as personal and social attributes.

Taken further, “self-awareness is the understanding of one’s own emotions and motivations while self-management is the ability to control or redirect emotions constructively.” (D. Goleman Emotional intelligence Bantam, New York (1995). In this regard, emotional intelligence allows an individual to have more perspective and see one’s point of view in a different manner as well as interacting with other individuals.

We can further indulge in proper communication and harmonious relationships within society. On the other hand, reflection and reflexivity can also be related to emotional intelligence as they almost possess the same characteristics. However, reflection allows a person to look back on their previous actions which affected other individuals. What is more, reflexivity causes and individual to own up their emotions in order to play a role in their knowledge and in the application of such knowledge?

Ergo, emotional intelligence plays a significant role in shaping the focus of an individual and what they are reflecting on from the inside. Emotional intelligence can be said to engage an individual and indulge their emotions which are related to behavior.

Emotional intelligence is also related to motivation and empathy, wherein motivation and empathy are most often related directly with the individual but may be driven from a business perspective when trying to drive improvements in performance. Motivation is the inherent drive to attain a goal. On the other hand, empathy is the capacity to comprehend another person’s emotion, thought and perception and when taken into consideration in motivation creates a different impact.

Accordingly, understanding emotional intelligence can significantly aid in the development of a profession and the individual if they chose too. Thus, in order to have enhanced emotional intelligence, one must practice emotional intelligence by following some core steps.

The different steps in practicing emotional intelligence are;

  • paying attention as to how you behave and react,
  • taking responsibility for your feelings and behavior,
  • practicing in responding rather than reacting,
  • practicing empathy with yourself and others,
  • creating a positive environment and remembering that emotional intelligence is a lifetime process.

A key part of improving emotional intelligence…

Is learning how to be able to control emotions, however, this may not be easily achieved without thorough practice.

In paying attention as to how you behave, one must be aware of their emotions. For some, this is really hard, as we can only do the so by having a conscious mind when addressing the emotion. One must be aware of his or her behavior whether it be in public or in the safety of their homes. It is worth noting that it can only be observed when one is in a heightened state. And considering how it has affected one’s own life and the life of other individuals they interact with during such emotions.

Studying the impact during this emotional interaction can be of great benefit in understanding how you behave. The overall sense of well-being can be categorized subjectively when confronted with exceptional emotional situations such as being in front of the public. When this occurs, the individual has to be more conscious of his or her actions and emotions. Plus aware of the consequences of his or her actions and how they react when confronted with the same situation.

Another practice that can be taken into consideration is in taking responsibility for your feelings and behavior. As for this part, it can be gleaned that emotions naturally come from with-in, so the expectation is that you are responsible for yourself by taking the burden of handling your emotions. And for the results stemming from your action due to that emotion. This can be the most challenging aspect, as you have to accept the fact that you are the sole responsible for your emotions – no one ordered you to feel the way you do, only you alone.

With your emotions under control, you have valuable data available about these experiences and can further groom yourself (self-awareness) about your feelings. Then you have a greater chance the next time the situation arises to demonstrate more control over your reaction. As a consequence, this is likely to have a positive impact on others.

Additional areas to practice how you respond…

Your reaction can be defined as a spontaneous process that we are not aware at the moment of that emotional trigger and you may behave in a manner we cannot control. On the other hand, we are aware of the subsequent actions and can decide what to do and how we should feel. In this regard, despite the fact that our emotions may be inwardly triggered, we must still learn how to maintain our composure and control our outward reaction. To master this requires repeated practice with the aim of delivering a conscious response rather than an unconscious reaction.

Practice empathizing with yourself and others. When we use the word empathy – it means the way we understand the feeling or behavior of an individual. And can understand the way in which they are communicating with us and in turn how we can communicate with them. To practice this aspect, you must first learn to actively listen before communicating. This can start by asking open questions and watching the body language as they respond. You must pay attention to establish clearly the reasons behind their actions and emotions in that current state.

In addition, creating a positive environment can also enhance the emotional intelligence of an individual. An individual must be aware of his or her surroundings and must maintain a positive outlook in life. This can be done by being grateful for the life they have and not only fixated their wealth or material possessions they own. Having a positive outlook in life can create an improved quality of life and can spread positivity within the people around them. It serves to transmit positive vibes. Those that understand studies in the Law of Attraction, will understand that this in turn will attract people and give back tenfold. Positive outlook attracts positivity. Consequently, it will improve your life and the lives of those around you.

Last of all is remembering emotional intelligence is a lifetime process. This simply means that throughout your life you can improve your emotional intelligence as it is a never-ending lesson. The process of emotional intelligence started when you were young and ends upon death. As a result, making it a lifetime process. Throughout your lifetime, you can master different aspects of emotional intelligence wherein in the end you reap what you have sown and mastered.

And so to conclude…

Emotional intelligence has to be integrated into different principles in order to know its true strength and meaning. It can be part of the workplace (job satisfaction, stress at work and burnout), profession (improving professional etiquette and when dealing with clients) and business (business deals, meetings, and handling of employees). These are just some disciplines wherein emotional intelligence can be integrated. The impact of emotional intelligence when applied to these principles can be measured.

In this day and age, emotional intelligence in the business and workplace environment form a crucial part in hiring and maintaining employees’ motivation. Emotional intelligence plays an important role and failing to understand and utilize it will likely result in an unhealthy working environment. Some industries even take more consideration of emotional intelligence than intelligence quotient as emotional intelligence greatly affects the industry itself.

In short, emotional intelligence promotes self-awareness and allows employees to be more equipped for their jobs. Being aware of the emotional intelligence of an individual facilitates a better working environment and is beneficial among yourself, colleagues, employers, and the company. In spite of the misperception and misconception with regard to emotional intelligence, it can be gleaned that the ability to control and recognize emotional intelligence remains a vital part of an individual and society.

To sum it up, take control of your emotional intelligence and everything else will fall in its proper place.


J.D. Mayer, P. SaloveyEmotional intelligence and the construction and regulation of feelings

R. Tofthagen, L.M. FagerstrømRodgers’ evolutionary concept analysis – a valid method for developing knowledge in nursing science

J Cont Educ Nurs, 42 (10) (2011), pp. 439-440

Additional readings:

  • J Nurs Educ, 51 (8) (2012), pp. 454-460
  • Ambiguity within nursing practice: an evolutionary concept analysis, vol. 31 (2017), pp. 56-74

Overlap between the general factor of personality and emotional intelligence: a meta-analysis, vol. 143 (2016), pp. 36-52

Can J Behav Sci, 45 (2) (2013), pp. 105-114

P.N. LopesEmotional intelligence in organizations: bridging research and practice

Emot Rev, 8 (4) (2016), pp. 316-321

R. IngramLocating emotional intelligence at the heart of social work practice

Br J Soc Work, 43 (5) (2013), pp. 987-1004

Category: Leading 4 Execs

This is the second article in this category and touches on the hugely popular subject of Emotional Intelligence which is experiencing somewhat of a resurgence at present.


Until then, stay safe and healthy. Bye for now. Wayne

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